Where I left off....

Where I left off *continual of last post*
we managed to decide we were hungry so we went downstairs and had a motherload of nachos and soup for our 'anniversary' dinner. We probably laughed more than we talked. Espiecially while being 'quiet' in the kitchen. I also managed to spill the strawberry milk in our room... and i cleaned it with lemony dusting stuff... the floor smells like cheese and spice right now...BLEH While Sammy and I were at church *btw we didn't get to watch the sunset bc we concluded we basically stayed up the whole NIGHT so we went to bed at 6:45am ish* my parents got crazy make-up at the swap meet for my 70's/80's party coming up! Can't wait. Sammy's asleep and I'm her wake-up call around 3:05 to decorate our boxes. My dad, mom and I are going to go to UHAUL and Costco for boxes and lunch stuff, so I'll let you know how our costumes turn out.
A few hours later...
Had a hot dog, frozen yogurt, samples, went to stables, got our boxes. Sammy forgot about a skating party so I'm waiting an hour and a half for her so I can help decorate our beautiful UHAUL boxes. Doing PE homework... what a drag. Maybe I'll burn off the frozen yogurt.
Agenda for the Next few hours:
Run for PE hw
Do EC for CORE
Read the Bible
Decorate Dice costumes

WISH me luck!!

♥Peace and Love♥

Bianca

Sleepover- All Nighter

TONIGHT:Tonight Is my 3rd sleepover at MY house with my BFF that I've had for a year, so special night, special occasion. ALL NIGHTER. We have some Carrie Underwood playing on YouTube now, Sammy is on Clubpenguin messing with people's minds and we have an ice water bowl in case we yawn complete with towels and frozen yogurt and pudding. We have a theory that tomorrow at church we might fall asleep... uh oh. Better then than now. Uh oh a yawn... time to dunk in the ice bowl...ahhh icy! We would so go toliot papering.. but that kinda got fizzled out and i won't say why.
YESTURDAY/TODAY/ This morning: hours of music, juice it up, more music and then some planning for tomorrow's(today's) costume making and then the movies. We saw Hairspray at the $3 movie theater since i hadn't seen it and got Golden Spoon. Can't wait until later.. today i guess since it's 2:35am... yikes We're getting up for the sunset and we'll bring blankets outside and watch it while eating breakfast most likely. Can't wait! I'll tell you how we did!

Music

What Music Means to Me

Ok, now I'm going to go into the deep and meaningful topic of music for me...(it's not as long as it could be... trust me) why? because I for one want to type out exactly what I think of it and well it's really my thing to do when I'm alone.. dwell on feelings I relate to in songs...that type of thing...

When I'm Alone: I like the way my EPIC leader, Eric mentioned this at Summer camp 07, "being alone is the closest thing to hell, because we weren't made to be and meant to be alone." So when I'm alone in my room I pray, read the Bible or listen to songs. Music in this role acts as a friend, so that I'm never alone. Even when I don't have music, I have God. We all do.

When I'm Sad: I think Songs altogether just give me an agreeing viewpoint that I can relate to and know I'm not alone when I feel as I do. If I'm sad it's usualy nothing major, but who knows? stress and other things (that shall not be named) come to mind.

Examples? *How songs make me feel* Non-christian
You Found me- Makes me feel like I'll be found by somebody who always thinks about me whether it's God,a friend or somebody else
Who's that girl- Makes me feel in agreement if somebody's taking my spot, but a sense to get over it and not be sorry. It altogether makes me let go a bit each time I listen. Let go of regret, jealousy and hurt.
The End- This song reflects the thought that somebody will be there with you and until eternity, so it's generally comforting
When You're Gone- This song makes me feel like I can miss somebody, and be ok to cry about it, doesn't everybody miss at least somebody enough to?
She Will Be Loved- I listen to this song the most when I'm feeling like I'm trying to fake a smile and pretend everything's ok. It makes me feel like somebody will notice and make me smile soon.
Cry- Makes me feel like it's ok to be addicted to somebody.
Whenever I Think About You- This song makes me also think It's ok to think about somebody a lot. And when you think about them, you're not crazy if you're not yourself or you can't breath or speak... as the lyrics say.

How Songs Make Me feel *Christian Music*
Chasing: It describes how Jesus chases after us, and how he will always want to help and do the best for us. He lives for us. He came down for us. I feel saved!
Blessed Be the Name: Praising God in our best moments, and our worst, for he is blessed every second.
I Find I'm Moving: This song makes me feel blessed in the path of the Lord, and forever treasured by somebody of great importance to me.. appreciated by at least one person
Jesus Take the Wheel: lol yup, Carrie Underwood but like the lyrics say 'Jesus take the Wheel', I want Jesus to guide me through my life and help avoid accidents, too.
I could go on, but these are my basic favorites that I listen to the most, and it's getting a bit late.

♥Peace and Love♥

Bianca

Busy Lately*Excuses*

My schedual and past days events...

25: On thursday it was the Dance and EPIC. The dance was from 6-8 and then we rushed to EPIC church youth group until about 9. We got out early so I listened to music for hours on end with no plans... yeah a little complaint there.

26: D-group today and I've been listening to more music. There's just something about it.. like the lyrics were writen by God and i found the song at the right time, you know? Like God wants me to listen and relate... anyways I've been busy... homework too

♥Peace and Love♥

Bianca

It's Ok to Cry

What other people say:

"Tears release the flood of sorrow, of missing and of love. Tears relieve the brute force of hurting, enabling us to "level off" and continue our cruise along the stream of life. It's okay to cry."

" We first have to fall apart to pick up the pieces" is in the song 'Okay to cry'

What I found*and my reflections*

Found: One site even said that doctors say a good cry every once in a while does a body good.
What I think: So don't let the guilt of breaking down or being sad, pull you deeper in depression, because that isn't mentally healthy.

In myself this is what I think about the ever-comforting charm of 'it's okay to cry'.

(You may have to read this twice to understand, or just ready slowly) Your mind, disturbed by the erge to fall apart and break wishes not to cry, but to remain strong. But if you can't get over the sadness or break first, how will you repair the damage?

Deeper Into It

Types Of pain/sadness: missing somebody, death, pysical pain, regret, longing, wishes, broken expectations, loneliness

I know that I get combinations all at once. For example: loneliness, regret, longing. At these times I can only suggest what works for me:

It's okay to cry, so why not?, read the Bible, call a friend, read poetry, check your email and try not to complain in responces, eat ice cream and watch tv *cold+tv=help numb the brain*

♥Peace and Love♥

Bianca

Pure Obsession

Pure obsession: not being able to think of a single thing besides somebody or something

Well, we all get it at times and I know I wish it was about God, but mine isn't. I think it's progressing.. but i'm not sure. And if it was, I don't think I'd share. Anyways this song fits perfectly....excuse the one cuss word in it.. a really good song. It made me cry once because it was so true.. well a small tear fell. I won't go any deeper into it. The point of this post is to merely mention obsessions and post a link.. so whatever this is or means to you ENJOY!! It's ok to cry!
Whenever I Think About You
By Liz Phair
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4QiSL4V0sE

♥Peace and Love♥

Bianca

Signals?

Lately I have noticed things I hadn't been praying for started to have great misfortune. I think it was God pushing me to pray more for others. Sad, but true examples

Pets
I haven't prayed for my new fish and they both died within the same few days
Protection
I haven't prayed for other's protection and fires caused the biggest evacuation in the U.S
Friends and their Family
I haven't prayed for my friend's family and now one of the members is in the hospital (coming home soon)
Grades
I haven't prayed for success in school and my grades have been gradually dropping.

I'm not saying I caused any of this, but I should help prevent it through prayer, or at least pray for help now that events already took place. Look in your life for signals. Maybe God wants you to pray for something, so he's showing you others need extra help. Juse an opinion looking for a point. Late night thoughts.

♥Peace and Love♥

Bianca

Halloween- Costume Trouble

For people who want to make homemade costumes, with a creative twist. Base Ideas and sites to get you started.

Energizer Bunny: (http://www.coolest-homemade-costumes.com/adult-halloween-costume.html)
Take a pink shirt and matching bottoms to create your pink bunny look. Then, take drumsticks and a big tubberware your your drum set. You can use rope, a cat leash, whatever to fasten it. Next, take pink bunny ears (if it's too late to buy this stuff, around easter look for the ears and save them for halloween) and do you hair up and hidden. Add a pom-pom for the tail.

Miss. America:(http://www.robinsfyi.com/holidays/halloween/costumes.htm)
Use a old bridesmaid dress of formal, add a pair of gloves, a tiara, some oversized jewelry, and heals. For the banner, a piece of wide ribbon, and write "Miss. America" in glitter. From Jacque

Soda pop can: (http://www.robinsfyi.com/holidays/halloween/costumes.htm)
Use a round barrel, cut a hole in the bottom. You cut holes for arms and your head. Paint it the colors of a pop can. Presto! You have a pop can!!! - from Ann

I considered this one for myself
Bag of Jelly Beans: (http://www.robinsfyi.com/holidays/halloween/costumes.htm)
Requires:lots of different colored balloons , large clear plastic bag (I got mine from the grocery store, (the BIG bags that they put all the recycled cans in), colorful ribbon, two safety pins, & two pieces of white cardboard
Directions:
Blow up all the balloons. Cut two leg holes in the bottom of the bag and two arm holes near the middle. Have your child stand in the bag and fill with blown up balloons. Write on each piece of cardboard "JELLY BEANS 2 CENTS EACH". Safety pins signs to front and back of bag. LOOSELY tie around shoulders with a colorful ribbon. Cut off excess bag around face From: Dee OR If your prefer to be a little high class Jelly Bean... Natalie suggested...put an enlagred Jelly Belly sign on the front of the bag.

Original Idea: funny quotes
The object of this costume is to be asked what you are and you reply...
We're the play on words band preforming cereal killers
Take cereal boxes, tape them all over, add fake blood and punctures on boxes and grab friends to be a 'band' HAHAHA well yeah. Maybe..

My friend and I (Sammy) might be going for supplies today to be matching dice for a costume party :)
Cool but not cool enough to be mentioned: cereal killer, rubix cube, kitten, stylish ghost

♥Peace and Love♥

Bianca

Worried?

What does the Bible say about worrying?
25 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body, more important than clothes?
31 So do not worry, saying ‘What shall we eat’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’
32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

♥NOTES♥

Clothes: I know I worry about what to wear, but when I read this it makes me less anxious to worry, like a charm. It doesn't mean we won't, we should just put seeking God's kingdom first according to this verse
'Food and Drink': I know that those fortunate enough to have a computer and have enough time on their hands to read this probably aren't concerned with how they'll get their next meal, but with God on your side you have a special goodluck charm that should help. If you're never concerned about what to eat or drink, maybe you should make that the same with people who do. Donate to the local homeless shelters or sponsor a kid in a different country.
Future Stress: Any project, test or assignment stressing you out? Stress is a more harsh degree of worrying. You've got to provide responsibility to get it done and want to not just get it done, but done right. As long as you have that, God knows you'll succeed, and he'll help push you even further.
Tomorrow: I love how the Bible states it “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble on its own." For me, it means 'Don't worry about tomorrow, God will. He will provide for you love, clothes, food, drink and guidance.' Think about that! It makes sense.

Postive Attitude (with poetry)

Some old fasioned poetry. You may not like the style, but it's just what came to mind. I don't even know if I fully appreciate the style, yet. I need to see through comments first if the message gets across. What I've found a challenge lately is staying positive. For me personally, looking out a window into the bright sky when the room is dark, is finding my way to a happy thought. His light alone can speak, and when I look at the sun, it's like I sense His thoughts and His mourn and attempted guidance for unhappy and lost minds. Hope you like it!

♥God's Cure ♥
So hurt is my pride
Shattered is my courage
But through the open window, wide
The sun rays do just nurish
My soul, my mind renewed again
Happy are my thoughts
But when caught in the shadow's den
Your minds may stray 'till lost
Staying on the Lord's bright path
Leads a beautiful life
Blessed with his wishes
Escape the evil wrath
The Lord will protect us when
The wretched thoughts leak in our head
Confidence sways and swirls away
through that open window, light will always stay
Though you cannot see it, at night the sun is there
Difficult to see, but no reason you fear
The sky is full of open hope day or night
And now so clearly in my mind
Unhappy thoughts now long lost
I've left them all behind.

Deep and Sweet Thoughts from Poetry

I'm in a poetic mood today, so I'll bore you with some lines I've recently read and wrote. Here goes on the spot...

Broken Smiles, Broken Hearts
As I sit by the window, looking at the rain
The raindrops remind me of tears
And re-emberse my pain
Though my face would like to droop,
And deeply pitty itself
I hold a steady broken smile
And try to hide and coop
But the pain will stay, when the rain is gone
And through the night, and on and on
I have not a way to cure myself
It's just voices I need to hear
My friends now live in another state
My phone calls cannot reach them here
Too busy, too rushed,
Until my visit, I must wait
Anguished is my face, still flushed,
I still wait, the hours long
To hear their voice, to see their face
My home far away, where I belong
So I'll turn to pictures, reminders, when
We could easily be the best of friends

*note: this is from a depressing view, but it's honest thoughts from an honest girl who honestly went through this(yes, it's me)*

These next ones aren't original, but I found them on a website with friend quotes. I do not know the writer, but I know the link!
http://www.indianchild.com/my_friend.htm

Friends
You're...My Friend,my companion,
through good times and bad,
my friend, my buddy,
through happy and sad,
beside me you stand,
beside me you walk,
you're there to listen,
you're there to talk,
with happiness,
with smiles,
with pain and tears,
I know you'll be there,throughout the years!

Friends
Together Forever, never apart
Maybe in distance, but never in heart
♥That's a best friend♥

Some Things I've Been Working On

I have a few goals, moral aspects and projects I've been working on. If in any way this benefits you, it would tell you nobody's perfect. I'm just determined to know what i need to work on instead of just dwelling on that factor, and it's nice to type it all out and orginize it. I'm an online-only 'neat freak'.

Academic Goals

• Running 3/4 of a mile in 5 minutes
• Improve Math Grade

Moral Aspects

• not getting into fights with sister
• stop trying to invite myself over to people's house
• stop interupting people on a regular basis

Projects

• 'Egg-sperament' in science
• Adapting to Middle School Essay
• Favorite Bible verses page

♥Peace and Love♥

Bianca

Songs' Reflections

We all get forwards from friends, regardless how often we check our email, and I'm one of those people who actually reads most of them. When i was reading a Chinese Horoscope I found their statements about songs to be true. If you evaluate a song, it most likely reflects something about you. For example, sometimes I feel lost, and at those moments I normally get new friends. This might be God's way of telling me to cheer up, but when I'm feeling that way I like to listen to 'You Found me' by Kelly Clarkson. Yeah, it's funny, but true.

Other songs we find, are in the Bible. As the Songs of Songs can be categorized, so can our modern songs.

Lover:usually refers to lovers of God
Friends:you know that one ;)
Beloved: your soulmate

Lover: Only Hope by Mandy Moore
Friends: I Wanna Grow Old With You by DJ Limmer
Beloved: The End by Coverage Groove

Darkness As A Friend

A while ago i was reading my Bible and found a particular verse to be comforting. If you don't have your Bible to open up to Psalms 88
I'M FOCUSING ON THESE PARTS..

8 You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
9 my eyes dim with grief

13 But I cry for your help, O Lord;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 Why, O Lord, do you reject me
and hide your face from me.

16 Your wrath has swept over me;
your terror have destroyed me.
17 All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
18 You have taken my companions and loved ones
from me;the darkness is my closest friend.

Some Thoughts and Notes

In this verse it seems we question God. Why has he done this? Why does he hide his face? This goes with most Psalms. Most times we are the weaker, for that is why we cry out to God in the first place. WE’RE turning the blame to God, like we lay down our sin to God. We have to remember God is not so harsh about getting things right, he expects error. My thought is that he just wants us to try, with our honest effort. So maybe you’re not looking for your mistake, but a challenge.
REMEMBER: any momentary hurt and grief is for your future benefit, so keep on going.

God Bless,

Bianca

Balancing Yourself- Late Night Thoughts

In the car....

My dad was lexturing me on an important aspect today; liking who you are. The lesson is simple, but it's depth has a much more powerful meaning. He explained that making 4 friends a day can help you become a better person. "The kind of person it takes to make 4 friends a day, is the kind of person that you should be proud of." he said.
The second half of the lesson wasn't virbally said, but i got it anyway. Being pleased with who you are, is critizism to improve, but courage to get better. It's difficult to keep a balance while concentrating on both. Let God to come in at this point for guidance. Ask Him to help you become a better person, and give you oppprtunity to be the better person.
He also mentioned another saying i found original. "Cool is cold" This sort of goes along with the other part. Being 'cool' is hard to keep in balance when you're basically classifying yourself better than other people or smarter than other people. So I wondered in the car, am i cool or cold?

Late night thoughts to help you think... this segment was more lexture than spirtual, oh well just wanted to share

:)

Night,

Bianca

As I Begin

We all have our struggles and 'dead ends'. The Maze of Life is confusing as it is. What most have not yet solved, is the maze of Spirituality. Also important, is the attitude we obtain as we solve it. I like the way a writer from Hoag Hospital states it. " Attitude can make or break a buisiness, community, church or a home." As I search my mind for answers, I will encounter things that may not be necessarily accurate, but spiritualy pleasing to me. My opinion-based writing is not meant to harm, but to help. It's not dominantly for comments, but more for my personal, orginized, online journal that may or may not help you. Positive and/or negative comments are accepted. Debate is encouraged. I'm not here to tell you how and what life is, just to help understand it.